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Let's talk about crying...






Crying…   We were born crying!!




How do you feel thinking about the word crying?
I am sure you have many mixed feelings about it. 

So many individuals “Tippy Toe” around crying, because most of us were taught it is a shameful thing. 

I don't know about you, but I am really NOT a fan of crying, perhaps for the reason I just stated? But not all crying feels shameful…  like the kind of crying that is joyful. The calm peaceful and content celebration of pure joy and happiness that tears are shed.  OR… laughing so hard I cry, and even then, sometimes I feel like an ass because I am usually the one that thinks something is waaaay more funny than it actually is!  

How it goes for me in a group when laughter takes over and I get stuck in my head with my perspective on the said humor:
Something funny is said or done, I’m in my own space laughing kinda hard, while everyone else is kinda chuckling.  Then I get in my head and think… “Wow, Jamie you are looking like an ass!  It's really not that funny!”  Which in turn, makes it even more funny (in MY mind anyways) and I start laughing even harder, while everyone else is about done laughing and starting to stare at me.  

...

YUP! You got it! That of course makes me laugh even MORE!  Before I know it, I am laughing so hard I am crying, which the more I think about in the moment, the harder I laugh, and the more I cry…while everyone else is looking at me like wth is her issue?   Most times, they have been done laughing for quite a while.  At this point, I realize, I have no idea why I even started laughing in the first place! Not to mention I am currently laughing insanely at myself laughing while everyone else is staring at me like I have lost it... 

Really guys, this ☝ is my life! NO JOKE.😉

Hey, at least I can laugh at ...  something that turned into... I don't know what, me laughing at myself? 😅  Either way, it is way better than the "my world feels upside down cry.”  “I don't feel I can reach out to anyone because I may look like I am weak or a failure because it appears I can't handle my shit!" cry.



RIGHT?!  You all know what I am talking about.  We all do it. The tattle tale is here to tell! So many of us are really good at hiding our true selves and our emotions because in our world we have to uphold a specific image.  Heaven forbid we can't show our humanity, we risk looking insignificant!  We choose to get up every morning, put on that “daily mask” and move on with our day.  Almost like robot mode.   

Or society leads us to believe anyways... 

I disagree...

Think about it.  WE. ALL. DO. IT.  We all fall apart and have our moments we feel like we are insignificant, not doing good enough, feeling like we can't live up to the expectations, or that maybe we are failures. Let's face it, pressures in this world can be high if we choose to view them that way, then,  it gets the best of us and we ugly cry.  We ugly cry because we spend so much time holding it in the simple cry, it wears us down more than we realize, so when we FINALLY let it all out, it's just downright ugly.  


But it is an natural human reaction and it is OK... 



       

So, why do we “Tippy Toe” around crying?  Somewhere along the line we were taught to
"Suck it up”... 
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself”...   
"Man up"... 
“Get over it”…
“Stop being a baby”…
... and the list goes on.
  
What about being human? 
What about being allowed to feel our true feelings without judgement? 
What happened to empathy and showing emotions? 
Why do we have to be so shamed with crying and fear being labeled?

Obviously there is a time and a place to cry. My point is, society has taught us to hold it in due to shame.  I can’t even express how many clients I have had, once they sit down, they either start crying right away, and sometimes have no idea why, or once I say 4 magic words, their tears release instantly due to relief.  What are my 4 magic words?

THIS.  IS.  SAFE.  SPACE.

It is outrageous how many individuals simply desire permission to remove their “daily mask” and genuinely be who they are in safe space.   I firmly believe there are more individuals in this society that feel that they are failing more than succeeding, though they hide it.


I say it is time to change this inhumane idea.  I say it is time to stand up and honor ourselves, who we are and how we feel!

I decided to look up the benefits of crying to bring some positive light to the idea of crying and here are some of the things I have found.

1.     Can you believe that crying releases toxins?
a.      As much mental clarity we gain from the release of crying, it also releases chemicals that increase the stress hormones in our body and crying also enhances hormones that reduce pain while emotional crying.
2.     Believe it or not, crying is so beneficial to honor when needed, that if you neglect it, or hold it in, it can actually have negative physical effects on the body including cardiovascular issues just to name one.
3.     Crying can lower blood pressure!  When we release and cry, we are freeing the body of serious stress retention.  Think about how much relief you feel when you finally decide to let your cry out.  I know for me after I’m done, my first emotions are, “Wow, I feel so much better”.
4.     Stress relief!  When you cry and release all of that stress, your risk for so many emotional and physical health factors decreases.  Chronic stress can do so much damage to your body including certain areas to the brain, digestive issues, ulcers, headaches, muscle spasms, and general body aches and pains. 

Enjoy this short YouTube video for more inspiration courtesy of  D News...


This list can go on and on… but you get the idea.  

So here I am, giving you permission to find a safe space, let your guard down and cry.  Carrie Underwood say's "you can’t cry pretty", so honor yourself and ugly cry!  Hell that just might feel better than all the work you’d have to put into even thinking about trying to cry pretty.  It is time to release all of the judgments that come with crying. Perhaps years of holding back our emotions is one of the reasons why so many of us have such a high stress level, we spend half of our lives suppressing it, could it be this is one part of all the health issues arising?  Yes, it can be that simple, we just believe most things have to be complicated.  


I hold safe space for people, I honor people and where they are at in life.  I hold a no judgement zone and present myself with an open heart. 
So take time out for you today, ask yourself, what have you been tippy toeing around in your life?  
Cry if you must, ugly cry if it comes down to it, just let it out, you have my permission.



   
One last thought.  Children cry, they only become ashamed of crying when they are criticized for it.  They feel shame, then proceed to cry to release, and then they bounce back.  Could this be why children recover faster?  Why they can release stress with more ease?   Maybe, maybe not...  but it is a good thought. 


Blessings to you on your journey,
Namaste,
Jamie





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